Separation Anxiety

I have always had the outlook that if there is something that I cannot change then there is no reason for me to dwell on it and worry about it. Graduating from college is one of those things that I cannot stop from happening. Sure I could fail a few classes and come back for another semester or two, but that would just be delaying the inevitable. For me the inevitable is not the actual act of commencement, but instead it is the thought of being separated from my best friends that scares the living daylight out of me. I know what they say; that you never lose touch with your true friends. I understand and agree with this. Some of my best friends have already scattered themselves across the country in San Diego, Las Vegas, and Miami, but I still talk to them all the time. The problem for me is that phone and AIM conversations cannot possibly compare to sitting down with someone, or cuddling in bed and having chats about the events of the day, that's what I miss. I miss the sly smiles and facial expressions that speak more than any number of words could possibly attempt to. Monday night my best friend Ashley collapsed when she got home from her dance rehearsal. I called an ambulance and rode with her to the hospital. We were in the hospital until the wee hours of the morning when she was finally released. In our four years here together we have never taken a trip to the hospital without each other, no matter how bad the reason for the trip. We always manage to laugh while we are there. No matter what is wrong we are there together and that makes all the difference. As silly as it may sound, the idea of taking a trip to the hospital without Ashley scares me. I know that no matter where we end up in life, we will always be best friends, but the idea of not living 5 feet away from each other disturbs me in a way that I have never experienced. For four years I have become very comfortable in the College's bubble. Living with my best friends and my incredible sisters has always provided an atmosphere of comfort and love. Good, bad, or mundane, everything in life is made a whole lot sweeter by the presence of my best friends. Even going home for breaks can get very lonely. Don't get me wrong, I have an incredible group of friends at home but it is not the same as being surrounded by my closest friends twenty four hours a day. Having all of my friends in walking distance is something that I have taken for granted the past four years, it is only now, in the face of losing that luxury that I can reflect on what a difference it has made in my life. Baz Luhrman said it best in a speech he made at a college graduation, "Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who you knew when you were young."